Wednesday, October 12, 2011
It’s 11:12pm on the eve of your first birthday. Daddy and I have been sitting here looking through pictures of the day you were born. My mind is flooded with memories of that day—the sound of first breath leaving your lungs, the look of pride on your dad’s face when he saw you for the first time, the feel of your soft skin against mine, the tears running down my cheeks as I whispered “thank you” to the Lord, the sight of you tipping the scales at 8 pounds, 11 ounces, the praise from doctors and nurses who were amazed I had birthed you without any pain meds :).
You’ve brought such joy to my life! And oh the countless things you’ve taught me in your short 365 days. Your dependence and frailty have taught me to depend solely on my heavenly Father and lean hard on Him; He alone is enough. Your wonder and awe at the most common of daily occurrences has taught me to bask in the beauty of simplicity and ponder the great God behind it all. Your smile and laughter have taught me to lighten up and not take myself too seriously. Your childishness has reminded me what it truly means to have childlike faith. The older I get, the more I realize the less I know…and each day that I grow older, I hope to grow more childlike.
In one moment you changed my life forever. You did what no one else will ever do—you made me a mother. It’s a new hat I wear proudly, and you’ve been incredibly gracious and easy going during my inaugural year. You’ve been a channel through which God has poured out measureless grace and wisdom without reproach. You’ve been the means through which our heavenly Father has demonstrated His faithfulness, provision, lovingkindness, longsuffering, strength, power, and consistency on a daily basis.
I’m so grateful the Lord taught me to breathe deeply and soak in every moment of your first weeks and months of life. They were difficult as I navigated the world of motherhood, but I cherish so many tender moments in my heart—reading Scripture over you as I fed you at two o’clock in the morning, pleading for wisdom from the Lord when parenting a newborn took an unexpected turn, singing hymns and other melodies to you as you drifted to sleep in my arms, praying aloud over your life as I held you before bed and naptime, singing with Daddy each night as he played guitar before bedtime, prayer walking through our neighborhood as you snoozed in your stroller, sneaking back into your room after you fell asleep just to stare at you (I still do that!).
The prayer I pray most often for you is that you will come to know the Lord at an early age and that you will follow Him with your whole heart all the days of your life. I pray the lessons you’ve taught me in this first year will be lessons you learn early in life. I pray the Lord so captures your attention and affections that the allurements of this world do not fascinate you. I pray you live up to your namesake, that you would be a fiery warrior for the sake of Christ. I pray you would have a tender heart that is compassionate and caring, but a fierce spirit that is tenacious and unyielding to stand for truth without compromise. I pray you don’t enter into any seasons of rebellion and that when you sin you are caught quickly. I pray you develop such a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit that you respond to His voice immediately when He beckons. I pray you learn obedience through the examples set before you and not through your own mistakes. I pray you have a passion to follow Christ and a maturity to pursue holiness that far surpasses your years. I pray your heart breaks for the least of these and that you share the hope of the gospel with those around you. I pray that you would grow in your knowledge of Christ, coupled with wisdom to make godly decisions. And most of all, I pray you would love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Happy Birthday, T-Rice! It’s such a privilege to be your mom. But with that privilege comes great responsibility. I pray for grace and wisdom to steward your life in a manner worthy of the Lord. I love you, not for what you do or how you make me look, but because you’re my son. Thank you for the most amazing 365 days…I look forward to thousands more.
I love you to the moon and back,